The All-Ordinaries arrived for the fifth game in their return to the big time only to encounter one of the wonders of the modern world - the Division 7 ladder (I will remind you there is a Division 8!) which showed the All-Ords currently sitting on top. After getting over the initial shock and checking with stadium management that it was actually not a mistake, the only sensible response came from one of the more optimistic members of the team who said and I quote "Thats OK guys, it just means we are due for our next loss". On that note, we then learned that Sean "Pinman" Pinder had that afternoon undergone a very traumatic experience and was unable to play. Further investigation indicated that Pinman had struggled the WHOLE day with babysitting his child and on top of that, had a runny nose (Pinman, not the child) and was thus physically unable to make the game despite his strong will. This reporter wishes Pinman the speediest of recoveries but all reports suggest this could involve a long absence as a sustained period of recuperation will be required.
The team comprised David "Smithy" Smith, John "Doc" Watson, Dean "Captain" Hanlon, Alan "Serry Senior" Serry, Josh "Serry Junior" Serry and a special thanks to our emergency in for his second game, Daniel "Serry Junior Junior" Serry (now that gets complicated!). There is absolutely no truth to the rumour that Serry Senior intends to take over the team with Serrys since, for one thing, there are no children left to recruit and secondly, he is feeling very old and way too exhausted after running in indoor cricket to ever think of procreating!
After a less than enthusiastic warm-up, as evidenced by Doc Watson's statement that "the only time I get injured is in warm-up therefore I'm not doing it!" and the Captain's regular contortionist performance otherwise known as his warm-up, we were sent in to bat by a team of young fit gentlemen who appeared to have a heritage from the sub-continent, thus we were hoping for an all-out spin attack without much spin (i.e. slow). At the coin toss, we discovered that the umpire was a student from Monash enrolled in Accounting. Serry Senior was called over only to discover that the Ump was enrolled in AFC1030 but had never attended a class (reminding the reader that we are into week 4). Serry Senior then warned the umpire that he was going to cop it if the Ump was officially enrolled in one of Serry Senior's classes. The rest of the team, after recovering from this fright, spent the next few minutes pondering the possible repercussions from this Serry Senior comment given the Ump was about to take control of the game.
In a drastic change in order, our new openers were the Captain and Serry Junior. Much to our chagrin, the opposition opening bowler was rather quick but an excellent first over saw us 0/13 and off to a promising start. The second bowler was even quicker and our pair struggled to score, managing 1/2. Further tight bowling allowed another 6 runs off the third over with no wickets lost. Our pair were batting well against good opposition that made scoring difficult. The last over saw the opposition fight back with 2/1 and our first pair left the field having made 22 (Captain 16, Serry Junior 6), a good start considering the tightness of the bowling.
Second up were Serry Senior and Serry Junior Junior. Some more tight bowling (and still no expected spin) allowed 1/5 off the first over. The second over was bowled by a young man who had trouble understanding the difference between off and leg side, allowing the Serry's to score 0/9. With confidence building (since the previous bowler couldn't get the ball on the pitch), the third over produced 13 more runs without loss of wicket, Serry Senior, now brimming with confidence, decided to go on the attack in the final over and proceeded to prove he is more of a defensive (aka slow) batsman (and the use of the word batsman is poetic license), by struggling to get bat to ball and hogging the strike as a consequence. The final over allowed four runs for the loss of one wicket, and the Serry's strode off with a partnership of 30 (Serry Senior 25, Serry Junior Junior 5) and the team sitting on 52.
The masters of consistency, Smithy and Doc strode on with the aim of getting us to about 90 (30 per pair gives the all-ords about 90 and something to bowl at). Their first over produced 0/7 and runs flowing at a steady rate. The pace increased in the second despite some fast bowling and produced another 13 without loss. The crowd (i.e. Mrs Serry, yes another one) was starting to think we were back in the game. Another excellent over of 0/12 and the All-Ords were starting to get cocky! The final over saw Doc get caught going for a six (yes, brimming with confidence doesnt seem to be a good sign for us) and 1/4 off the last over saw the pair, the backbone of the side stride off having made 36 (Smithy 16, Doc 20) with the final score of 88 just short of our minimum requirement.
The opposition batsmen strode onto Arena 3 looking very businesslike. They took 0/13 off the first over from Doc (including a six off the last ball) and the All-Ords were thinking 86 wasnt much of a score! Doc was unlucky as there were a couple of run out chances that were missed. Serry Senior was backing up at the stumps and was struggling with trying to stop the ball below his knees. He was heard to turn to the crowd and say"Hey im old enough to have fathered the whole team - give me a break!" in response to the ball going through his legs. Serry Junior came on and in his usual fashion steadied the ship taking 1/6. Doc then came on for his second over and bowling as fast as we have seen him (perhaps because of no injuries in warm-up), fought back well taking 1/6. Serry Senior came on with his mouth watering slow loopers and the young opposition batsmen licking their lips. Serry Senior had the last laugh (for a change) taking 3/-7, including a delicious stumping by Smithy, to restrict the opening batsmen to 18 off their first four overs and have them behind in the run chase!
The second pair came out to face Serry Junior Junior who bowled some beautiful swing in his first over, taking 1/3. Smithy then kept the pressure on with one of the finest overs seen this season - the highlight being the first hat-trick of the season, with the hat-trick wicket being caught behind in a superb one-handed catch by wicketkeeper Doc. Smithy, having tapped a few nails in the opposition coffin, finished the over with 3/-2 and many pats on the back. Serry Junior Junior then continued his swing bowling and managed a caught and bowled (well, caught Serry Senior, bowled Serry Junior Junior), finishing with 2/2 of his final over. Smithy came on for an encore performance and took another wicket for 8 runs with the second pair trudging off the pitch having made only 11 runs thanks to some fine All-Ords' bowling.
The third pair needed a massive 60 runs to win. Our fastest bowler, Captain bowled a tight 0/9 , despite them hoping to go for their shots. Opposition batsmen tend to be intimidated by Captain's speed and play a bit defensively as a consequence. Serry Junior bowled the next over taking 1/13, with one six as the opposition hit out with no hope in sight. Serry Senior came on and took 3/-3 in his final over with the Captain rounding out the innings with a scarey fast bowler's over taking 1/0 despite the opposition trying to hit him. The All-Ords had won again, this time by 40 runs. It was a shock for all and a fine team effort, especially in the field with 8 catches, 7 runouts and a stumping.
Bowling figures: Doc 1/19, Serry Junior 2/19, Serry Senior 6/-10, Serry Junior Junior 3/5, Smithy 4/6 (including the first hat-trick of the season), Captain 1/9.
Man of the match and a free drink card: Serry Senior (hiccup). There may be some truth to the rumour that the Ump was intimidated by his potential AFC1030 tutor.
See you next Sunday (though the three day turnaround may make the "older" members of the team struggle to move!