Some of you may notice (well the one person who is rumoured to actually read these reports may anyway) that this report has come out straight after the last, in an attempt to ensure that the memory of our loss to the bottom side was quickly erased, win lose or draw in game 12. The All Ords were playing a make up game against Rehabs, a team from another division who were an unknown quantity. The team comprised Captain, Doc Watson, Pinman, Serry Junior, Serry Junior Junior and an injured Serry Senior who was limping badly even before the game had started and was playing rather than leave the team with 5 players, but was not happy at not being allowed a runner. He claimed a torn cartilage from the previous match (so he says, perhaps in an attempt to explain his performance in the last game). Smithy was not playing and the rumour going round was that he was resting. This reporter suspects Smithy should have given a better excuse because resting could easily become contagious!
The opposition turned up with two players but won the toss and naturally batted first. Serry Junior opened the bowling and started magnificently taking 2/-3 and setting the scene. Pinman, now inspired, came on and took 3/-5 (a run out and two catches in the field) for a superb over (including a catch to Serry Senior on the back fence - lucky it came straight to his stomach so he didn't have to move. Actually given the size of his stomach, lucky he caught it!) and the All Ords were back (well for two overs at least - we are allowed to get excited). Doc bowled next and was steady allowing only 8 runs of the third and Serry Senior bowled well (although even slower than normal because of his knee - though we didn't think slower was possible, it was) taking 2/1 off the last, well supported in the field with two fine catches. The first pair had made a paltry one run and the All Ords had gone part way to wiping out the memory of the previous game.
Serry Junior Junior opened to the second pair and bowled very well taking 1 wicket for just three runs. Captain came in next and was unlucky not to be rewarded for some fine bowling allowing 0/6. Doc was next and bowled beautifully taking 1/6 (and Serry Senior takes full responsibility for the four that he kicked into the back fence since he claimed an inability to move). Captain, in another gesture of good sportsmanship (having noticed a girl was to bat in the last pair) decided to bowl next to ensure he didn't bowl to the last pair, and took 0/10. The team motto of "if its good sportsmanship, dont do it" should not be ignored! The second pair had made a steady 25 and 26 overall put the opposition under pressure.
Serry Junior Junior came in for his second over and continued to bowl very well taking a fine 2/-3. Serry Senior kept up the pressure with 1/5 and Pinman bowled without luck but conceded only 5 runs. The last over fell to Serry Junior who finished off with aplomb, taking 2/3 including a nice stumping from Doc and the opposition had struggled to 36 and had successfully restored the All Ords' fragile confidence.
Bowling figures: Serry Junior 4/0, Pinman 3/0, Doc 1/14, Serry Senior 3/6, Serry Junior Junior 3/0, Captain 0/16
Serry Senior and Serry Junior Junior strode in (well Serry Junior Junior did, allow me some poetic license, it doesn't look as good saying Serry Senior limped in) and the first bit of sledging from the wicketkeeper was "Is that a bat or a walking stick in your hand". The quick reply was "a walking stick you idiot - are you blind?". We suspect Serry Senior was trying for the sympathy vote and hoping to face the bowling of the lady of the team. The first over saw a beautiful late cut by Serry Senior that hit the back net, side net and roof and still was floating up when caught by the keeper. A disappointing start of 1/-1. The second over produced 8 runs without loss, the third another eight and the Serry's were rolling (not how you would describe Serry Senior's limping between the wickets). The last over produced 3 runs and despite that first wicket, the pair had put on 18 without losing another (Serry Senior 11, Serry Junior Junior 7) for a steady start.
The Captain and Pinman entered the arena intending to put the result beyond doubt. The first over was bowled by the lady of the opposition team who bowled steadily, taking 1/7. Pinman couldn't resist going for that 6 and got caught. The second over produced 1/4 with the opposition bowling tightly. The third was more productive resulting in 7 without loss. The final over, off the opposition female, started steadily with 8 off the first four balls, but two wickets in the last two balls (with Captain going out in identical fashion, caught on the back fence going for a six - testosterone will tell) meant 2/2 and a solid partnership of 20 (Captain 10, Pinman 10) and a lead of 2 runs with one pair to go.
Barring disaster, the All Ords should win. The last pair was a new pairing of Doc and Serry Junior. They batted very sensibly, taking few risks and hitting the side nets when they could in a fine display, taking 8 off the first over. The second over had a run out, producing 1/4 and the All Ords looked safe. The third over clinched the game with a fine 11 runs without loss and both batsmen were looking great until Doc twinged his knee and decided he could bat no longer and limped off (told you injuries are contagious). The opposition had the right to pick any batsman to replace Doc and in an act of gross bad sportsmanship, picked the other limper, Serry Senior, who then proceeded to take five minutes to get inside the nets and complained all the way. The last over, with the result beyond doubt, produced 1/-2 with the pair looking to just play it out rather than score (since Serry Senior had said he wouldn't be running any singles at all!). The last pair had made a fine 21 (Doc 19, Serry Junior 2 with able support from Serry Senior who leaned on his bat at one end) and the All Ords had completed their innings with a steady 59 to win by 23 runs.
Official Man of the Match: Pinman for his 3/0 and 10 with the bat
Official Martyr: Serry Senior and his limp
Official Mimic: Doc Watson and his limp
Official Amendment
Under threat of legal action, a correction to the All Ordinaries report No. 12 must be made. Apparently, Smithy was not resting. He had an injured big toe, yes, thats right, big toe. He injured this big toe in the loss to the bottom side, when he, at the end of his four overs batting, kicked the stumps in disgust and sent the bails flying. This reporter had tried to hide the truth but truth must out. We are told this act of aggression was based upon his distress at the fact that the two ring-ins which we had allowed to play in our good sportsmanship mode had turned out to be the best players in the opposition team in game 11 and a major reason for our defeat (other than our own play!).
So rather than resting, lets rephrase that:
All Ords Injury list:
Serry Senior torn cartilage
Doc perpetually bad knee
Smithy Self-inflicted sore big toe
In no way are these ranked in order of seriousness or length of recuperation time, we hope!