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Last modified: Friday, 07th February, 2014




Some Classical Solutions For Exam Questions
























Problem Solving? No Problem!!!



Why You Should Not Marry?

Dear Tech Support Team:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began
unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system
activities. Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and
Outings3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0
in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,
"A Troubled User"



REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and
Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its ceator to run
EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0. It is
impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your
Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support) .

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.

I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to
give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several
support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch
the program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is
to purchase additional software. I recommend Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0

STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This
application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support ...



Some Laws Which Netwon Forgot To State


LAW OF QUEUE:

If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.


LAW OF TELEPHONE:

When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.


LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.


LAW OF THE WORKSHOP:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.


LAW OF THE ALIBI:

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.


BATH THEOREM:

When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.


LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.


LAW OF THE RESULT:

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!


LAW OF BIOMECHANICS:

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.


THEATRE/AIRPLANE RULE:

People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.